How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
