that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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