i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize