So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
