Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
