people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
