East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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