i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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