help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
