I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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