If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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