His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
