Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
