They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
