I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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