Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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