YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
