well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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