no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The uberlube is also flammable
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
