Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
When are your genitals available?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
