everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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