is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
