I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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