I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
two words: eviction party
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
