David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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