I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
