He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
He has the fingertips of a God
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