Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
