Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
