from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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