oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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