I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
