508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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