You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
