I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
