in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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