um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
