Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i will never coherently bang her
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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