you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
