We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
