So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
