I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
