I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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