Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
