This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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