wat bout pragnant strippers??
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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