meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I wish i was in the wii world.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
