New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
