I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
