areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
