I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
