so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize