Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Oh god it's open bar.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize