I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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