Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
