I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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