Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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