plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
