when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
