I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
