Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
