Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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