I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
