my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
