New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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