In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Randomize
