o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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