first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
