I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
