Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
