I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
