We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
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