All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
